*

Shadow Syllabus
after Sonya Huber

1. I really, really care that you feel respected as a student and a person. This includes valuing your time, money, and the depth and breadth of your experiences outside of our class.

2. This gets tricky, not because I’m not being sincere (I am!) but because feelings are more like weather than a drink being poured.

3. I strongly believe that the humanities go beyond taste and recreation and are in fact a key component of a long and fulfilling engineering career. Just like anything else, you’ll get better at reading and writing by practicing it.

4. I try very hard not to waste your time or assign busy work. You need to do the reading, and process the reading, in my class. If they’re confusing, I’ll help you. Never read theory (poetry, novels, etc.) before? Ditto.

5. I don’t focus very much at all on “what the poem means” or how many sentences make a paragraph. If you’ve been taught otherwise, meaning that the humanities are something to measure and compute, this might freak you out.

6. I am angry with anyone who taught you that you were “bad at English,” especially by boring you or punishing you because you write differently than they did.

7. My classes are rigorous and fully accommodated, with a focus on skills you can transfer to industry and life. Students can be surprised that my kindness doesn’t mean an easy A. At the same time, if you put in work and time, and ask questions when you have them, you’ll do well. I want you to learn, not to suffer. (Weird idea, I know!)

8. I spent significant amounts of college (not all) being terribly homesick, very wary of authority, and with an active ED. I also had a significant crisis of faith, which in turn (we’re talking years) deepened that same faith. I’m not saying this to trauma-bond but to be transparent and sincere. College is a prismatic, dizzyingly exciting time, and I care very much about your mental and physical health and safety, especially when they contribute to your joy and satisfaction too.

9. I’m also someone who has left DV. If you need an adult to help you leave, or listen to you, or be proud of you for leaving anything that doesn’t serve you (at minimum!), you have at least one. (Me. I’m that adult.)

10. I try hard to be healthy, regulated, and present so that you have a mentor figure who supports you on your journey instead of enmeshing it with hers.

11. College isn’t for everyone. This is a fact, not a judgement of people’s intelligence or superiority (ew). I wish college was vastly less expensive for students, so you could think about it without worrying about wasting time or money.

12. I will always admire people who ask questions, change their minds, or confirm their beliefs. I believe in paraconsistent logic, not the principle of explosion.

13. Just because I’m at least twenty years older than you and have a PhD doesn’t mean I’m always right.

14. Syllabi are good when they help establish foundations, mutual respect, and learning outcomes (as well as their purposes). They’re bummers as legal contracts or when students read them for grade policies alone.

15. I care very much that you come to class. It’s okay if you are late or stressed out.

16. I have taught in prisons for over 20 years and work really hard not to reproduce surveillance or retributive justice models in my classroom.

17. Spotlight bias is real. If I cold-call you and you don’t know the answer, it’s okay. Being uncomfortable is a part of learning. That said, I work hard so being uncomfortable isn’t the class norm. I promise not to bully you, and if I harm you on accident, I will apologize and do better.

18. I swear in class sometimes. You can too.

19. I enjoy dark humor, as long as it isn’t mean, and I can be really sarcastic.

20. When I ask how you’re doing, I really want to know.

21. Our flaws make us human. Lean into yours, with grace, or build new neural networks. College is a great place and time to do this.

22. I care that my classroom is a place where you don’t need to dissociate to exist. If you need to eat, to hydrate, to ask for aspirin or grace or for people not to bring anything with peanuts inside it, let us know.

23. I use basketball metaphors a lot, because it is a wonderful sport and I love it.

24. Something in this classroom (the light, the way the television works, the strange chalkboard placement) will annoy the hell out of at least one person in this class, and we’ll probably annoy each other too, at some points. This is a part of learning, and we can adjust as we need to.

25. My office almost always has snacks, stickers, tampons, fidgets, peace, and safety, and you are almost always welcome in it.

26. I will never return work without specific and actionable feedback, and I will never let AI or LLMs write feedback instead of me.

27. I love teaching because it is always different, often hard, and I get to be with you.

28. The more questions you ask and the less you muti-task on your screens, the more you’ll learn. This is pedagogical data and career readiness, not me forcing you to be someone you’re not.

29. I am so sorry for anything you’ve lost because of the pandemic, wars, illness, or death. I will honor that while also supporting your luminous futures. I really, really believe in them.

30. Welcome to this strange box with chairs in it. It’s our strange box now! I hope we surprise and delight ourselves.